What has always been my fear? What always makes me scared to try things? What’s the monster being held inside of me holding me back from success?
My fear has always been shyness I’ve always been to scared to raise my hand in class because what if I get it wrong then everyone looks at me. Shyness has took a huge part of my life. I’ve always been wanting to do things where you can be loud or something but then I just get to nervous and scared that something is going to happen. Then for the rest of my life I’m going to have to live with that happening to me.
The thing that makes me scared to try things is what if it doesn’t go the way that I was hoping it would. I just get to scared that something bad is going to happen to where after it happens I’ll never be able to try to face my fear again. It’s just always on my mind that one day I’m going have to get over my fear of something bad going to happen and just go with it. Then if something bad happens just go with the flow but then every time I try I just give up and I’m tired of just giving up!
The monster inside of me holding me back form success is shyness once again its just because I’ve always been shy since I was little everyone use to think that I didn’t even know how to talk. I never really liked to talk to people that I didn’t know really well, or if they were just friends of my dads I wouldn’t talk in front of them and they always use to say “Does your daughter even know who to talk?”
My monster holds me back from lots of things everyday sometimes when a teacher asks a question and I know the answer, I want to raise my hand but then I just think to myself wait no maybe that’s not the right answer. So I just keep my hand down and pretend that I don’t know the answer. Also sometimes people just always look at me so I get to scared to say something so I just look away and pretend that I’m not even in the class room.
The monster disturbs me a lot because I can never do anything that I want every time I go to do something my shyness always has to pop up. So I can’t do it sometimes I get mad at myself and just want to scream because I just want to say something but I can’t just because I’m shy. Sometimes I just try not to think about it and I count to myself and people will just be like uhm why are you counting and I’m like “because I’m mad at myself so I got to count until I’m calmed down or I’ll just stay mad for the rest of the day.”
The song Let it go talks about how shes always been scared to show her powers but now that shes alone she can do whatever she wants and she can see how powerful her powers really are. Shes trying to point out that she was always shy and scared to go out and see the world and show what shes made of but now that shes pushed to the limit shes going to go and try and face her fears. Which I feel that if she can do it and face her fear then I think anyone is able to do it.
The video on The Reading Workshop talked a hole bunch about fear which fear is a big reason why people don’t get to do a lot of things that they want to do. Fear is a big reason that I don’t want to do things fear is such an easy thing to have I can’t really get completely over it but I can be at least half way there but fear is always going to be there no matter what I do to get rid of it.
The song Monsters talks a lot about his past which everyone has that one bad thing in life that they regret or try not to remember but you still do. The thing that I try not to remember is the things that I’ve did that make me so scared to try things. Like I don’t go up and start talking to people I have to stop and think about what I’m going to say. I always think well what if they don’t want to talk to me which now today affects me a lot because I don’t really talk to everyone at school I just talk to the people that I’ve always have known.
To control your fear/monster isn’t a really super easy thing to do it takes confidence, tries, believing, positive attitude it takes a lot just to think about it my mind goes crazy. I think that one day I’ll be able to almost get over it but I won’t be able to go fully 101% shy free. I think that if you don’t face your fear all the way then that’s kind of good because then I’ll have a new fear most likely and what if I can’t face that fear then I’ll get back to my old fear and have two fears its just not worth it.
I think that without an fear life for myself would still be the same my fear is going to be with me but if I could get over the hole fear then life would be better I would be more talkative and teachers wouldn’t call on me just because I don’t raise my hand. It would just be so much better but I don’t think that I’m able to face my fear just because I’ve lived with shyness my hole life and It just is part of me.
I honestly don’t ever want to face my fear I just want to stay the why I am now just because I wouldn’t want to be the one kid that just changed out of the blue everyone would think something is going on with me. Everybody would always go up to me and be like what’s wrong and I would say “nothing really I just faced my fear of being shy” which if I told that to people most of them wouldn’t believe me. But one thing I tell myself which I just thought of if the word fear has a definition for each letter F is Failure E. is Establish A is anxiety R is Recency. Its just something that I remember so that way I can always think positive.
I think that maybe one day if somebody would help me face my fear and encourage me while I’m trying that it would be better but everyone would have there own person because like me I would have to have a person that is loud and loves to talk in front of people. I think that if I had someone to help me and be there for me every time I want to just give up that I could possibly face my fear to where at least I could raise my hand in class without being afraid. But that would be a huge jump for me.
What I’m really just trying to point out here is that success isn’t a very easy thing to get to most of the time people are going to fail lots of times before they get to the point they want. Which some people give up because they got fear of what might happen I may not ever reach to the goal but I can’t give up to fear. Fear can’t win against me or anyone. Everyone is so much stronger than what fear is I’ve seen people give up because of them being scared which makes no since! I just want to at least try before I say I give up I cant do it. If I never try what I wanted to do then you can’t succeed ever and that’s not what people want to do that just ruins their future.
Which everything I do now is going to affect myself in my future so now if I just give up completely later in life I’m going to just be a failure. Which that’s not what I’m heading towards when I grow up I want to be a very successful person that isn’t scared to try new things as long as there is someone by my side helping and listening to me going through everything that I go through. Future is just something that is you but its the new person that you just haven’t became yet.
Success isn’t impossible! Success is just something where you have to try harder than what you think you do. Success is such a simple word but can mean so much.
Fear quotes are on of my favorite pictures to look at the website I got this picture from is: http://mkalty.org/fear-quotes/